こんにちは!
本日は小5と小2の姉妹の子育中のHonoママさんにブログを投稿頂きました♪
誰もが持っている自分の価値観。
親は「〇〇すべき」という「軸」があるのに子どもはそんなのお構いなし。
マイペースで宿題も時間割もほったらかしの我が子にガミガミイライラしてしまう・・・。子育ては辛いもの・・・?
いえいえ、かおりメソッドには 軽快な子育てへ変化を遂げられる本質を掴んだエッセンスがギュギュっと詰まっており、ガミガミイライラループを抜け出したいっ・・!と思われている方にはHonoママさんの体験談は必見です!
慎重派でマイペース、こだわりの強い長女
かおりメソッドに出会う前はそんな長女にずっと悩まされてきました。
・学童中宿題を全くせず帰宅
(宿題は学童で終わらせてくるものじゃないの?)
・帰宅すると何よりも真っ先にお絵描き…なかなか宿題にとりかからない
(まずはやることやってから遊びでしょ!)
・忘れ物も多く、忘れても全く気にせず何度も繰り返す
(反省しないとか信じられない!)
・何度言っても暖簾に腕押し状態で全く響かない
(ちゃんと人の話聞いてる!?)
「この子は将来大丈夫か・・・!?」
という不安と焦りが襲いかかり、「親の私がちゃんとさせなきゃ!!」スイッチが発動!
毎日毎日長女へのイライラ・ガミガミが止まらず、最悪な親子関係・・・
私自身かなり疲弊しきっていた毎日でした。
「長女をなんとかしたい!(変えたい!)」
そう思って飛び込んだかおりメソッド(当時長女は小3)。
が、コミュニティに触れていくうちに「変わるべきは私!?」と気づかされ、超オンライン講座を受講することに。そこで自分自身とじっくり向き合い、言語化(アウトプット)したおかげで、
自分がいかに偏った固定概念(~すべき)に囚われていたこと、自分が本当に大切にしたいことは何なのか?
をあらためて考え直すきっかけになりました。
そんな長女も今春5年生に。
相変わらず帰宅後はマイペースに好きなイラストを描いたり、ごっこ遊びをしたり、ダンスをしたり・・・
自由に気ままに過ごしていますw
でも落ち着いて見守ることができるのは
・学校でいっぱい頑張っているし家ではゆっくりしたいよね
(家庭は安心安全の場!)
・自由な時間は創造力や発想力を育む時間(余白こそ大切な時間)
・宿題をいつするかは本人のタイミング! (本人の自己決定が大事)
・時間がなくて終わらなくても、忘れ物をしてもそれも経験(失敗も肥しになる)
・もしヘルプ!と言われたら、笑顔でOK!と言おう (親側の余白を作っておこう)
そんな風に思えるようになったから。
同じ状況でも親の捉え方、視点が変わることでイライラ・ガミガミはかなり減り、長女も自分のタイミングで自発的に宿題に取り組み最後までやりとげるようになりました。
長女自身もお母さんは私の「味方」!という認識が少しずつできてきたようで、よくキッチンにきて話をしてくれるように。
怖いから嫌~と言ってなかなか握らなかった包丁もすっかり慣れ、最近一人で卵焼きを作ることにチャレンジ!

先日仕事から帰宅したとき、朝から放置していた洗い物がすっかりきれいに片づけられていた時は我が子ながら驚きました。
「お母さんは私の味方」 「家庭は安心安全の場」
そう子どもが感じること
そこで得たエネルギーが何かにチャレンジする意欲につながること
遠回りのようでこれが結局近道なんだろうなと身をもって実感しています。
Honoママさんありがとうございました~!
真剣にはなるけど「深刻」にはならない子育て方法を知りたいと思った方はまずは1DAY講座へ!
受講者の声を聴いてみたいと思った方は、是非天才ノートカフェへお越しください。
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